Dear Charlie
My boyfriend writes me love poems, using a ball point pen tied to his cock. Have any
other readers got romantic partners?
Fanny Pubic
Bum's Bush
***
Dear Charlie
I can prove that people are talking nonsense when they say that Essex girls are promiscuous.
My bride-to-be is an Essex girl. She is twenty five years of age and was rogered for the very first time last week.
In fact she assures me that she would still be a virgin if I hadn't agreed to pay her thirty quid for that shag we had on the back seat of my Porsche.
Peter Pratt
Pimple
Cock's End
***
Dear Charlie
If a tomcat had discovered America and brought back cigarettes, by now, half the tom-cats in Europe would be smoking and suffering from lung cancer.
They would try to find a cure by chaining human beings up in laboratories and forcing them to chain smoke.
Thank God that Christopher Columbus wasn't a tomcat. That's what we say.
Mr and Mrs Dogsbollocks
Wolves-hampton
Charlie's Readers' Letters
About Me
- Charlie
- So why do I call myself the Poet on a Hill? Well I used to visualise myself walking the lanes of England with a rucksack on my back; sitting on hills; looking over the fields; swigging cans of beer; or taking a slug of whisky from a flask; scribbling poems on to a note-pad. But life's not like that. I had to eat. That takes money. So I had to work. However, in the end, my dream has come true. Because, you see, my work station is in this nice airy room in the attic. And my house is the highest on the estate. So I sit here looking out over rooftops and trees; over the Ely Valley and Vale of Glamorgan to where the little town of Llantrisant straddles a hill; with a backdrop of the hills of the Welsh Valleys; Cynon Taff and the mouth of Rhondda Cwm. And that's a lesson I’ve learnt in life; visions and dreams often come true - but not necessarily in a way that you recognise. But, take stock, and maybe your wishes have materialised - without you realising it.
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