Dear Charlie

I want to report a big miracle!

I was driving along the motorway in torrential rain the other day – with visibility nearly zero - when I suddenly saw GOD!

I just caught a glimpse of Him in the headlights - disguised as a motorcyclist - wearing a helmet, goggles, boots and gauntlets… all covered in sharp studs.

But I recognised Him straight away - by His beard!

But that's not the big miracle. No. The big miracle came when I skidded to a halt, leapt from the car, and prostrated myself in the filthy wet of the fast lane.

That simple act of faith saved my life.

Because I alone was spared from the pile-up as thirty cars slammed into the back of my vehicle - killing all the occupants in the ensuing fire.

Do you think I should write to the Pope?

Peter Pimple
Peterborough

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Dear Charlie

Reference the letter from Peter Pimple, (Charlie's Readers' page, this week).

My advice is - keep quiet.

The Virgin Mary appeared to me last year, in a pub in Wallasy - disguised as a barmaid.

So I wrote to the Pope. And he made me a saint.

Now I'm banned from every cinema in the Wirral Peninsular because I'm walking round all day with this bright light on my head.

St. Sid-Brown-of-Birkenhead